Do you realize that every action you take reinforces the argument I make that every word you said to me was a lie, and that you keep the truth locked inside?

Even if it means evicting me from your life, truth is, you’re scared and unsure, so you run from what could be - not giving chance to possibilities.

But, your actions are telling of what lies underneath the exterior of lies you hid behind because you’re too scared to live.

That moment in your life that is so bittersweet…so completely amazing for some reasons…and so completely heartbreaking all at the same time…bittersweet indeed.  That.

Have you ever been in a situation/with a person/at a particular place in your life, and you have this overwhelming knowledge that it is not where you need to be/who you need to be with/what you need to be doing, etc.?  Yeah. That. 

Also: Have you ever been in any of the aforementioned scenarios and had the overwhelming knowledge that it is exactly the right thing for you?  That too.

The following is my first post to Google+ and the resulting comments…enjoy!

Fear is a crippling entity that exists all too often in people’s lives.  This week has been an exercise in courage for me.  I have learned a lot…I have lost a lot…I have gained a lot…but in the end, I have come to realize that I am ok.  I love myself, and if no one else does, that’s fine.  I can make it on my own.  I don’t want to, but I am strong enough to do it.  Above all, I refuse to let fear dictate my life.  I’m going to say what’s on my heart, live what’s in my heart, and love those in my life with all my heart…and fuck what the world thinks about it.  Fear?  You are banished from my life.  I will live without fear.  I will be real.

Someone send me a ___Day Challenge…something interesting where you guys can get to know me and know more about me…just do it, yo.

So…last night I did something I never do.  After having been hurt so badly in the past, I tend to be very cautious and guarded with my feelings.  It takes a lot for me to seriously let someone know how I feel.  The only other time in recent history that I’ve done that, the person kind of screwed around with my emotions for months, and it really hurt an already battered and bruised heart.  I think some of what happened in that situation was unintentional because the person in question has issues of their own (I believe) as well as obvious social and communication issues.  Still…it was kind of the final blow that resulted in me being petrified beyond belief to even tell a guy I liked him.  Enter a new friend.  This person came into my life in one of the most random ways possible, but he quickly became a person that I respected and admired - which does not happen easily with me.  The more I learn about him, the more I am amazed at how cool of a person he is.  I knew he was something special from the start, but the more I get to know him just confirms this.  Also?  I have kind of had a feeling that he might have been hurt in the past, perhaps not in the exact same manner of how I have been hurt, but hurt is hurt when you get down to it.  So, I felt like I had to be more cautious than ever, not just for myself but for him as well.  This resulted in a sort of deadlock.  I knew I needed to tell this person how I felt…I wanted to…but also I was afraid out of my mind to.  With the support of my friends and more than a little nudging and some other random events last night, I ended up telling him how I feel.  I’m not going to get into what was said specifically or what his responses were because that’s between me and him…I’ll just say that time will tell what will happen, but if nothing else, I hope we can become better friends…if that’s all that ends up happening is that I have this amazing person in my life to call my friend, well then, the risk I took was well worth it.

Dear ***** ********

I like you.  Ok?  I wish I had the guts to tell you for real.  Maybe someday soon I will.  Until then, I’m just going to send this message out to the universe and hope that it somehow finds you.

Dinosaur Rawr,

Jacqueline

I have a secret!  I have a secret!  I have a secret!  I have a secret!  I have a secret!  :x